From Inner Critic to Inner Companion
A little reminder: the way you talk to yourself matters.
Have you ever really listened to the way you speak to yourself? For many of us, that inner voice is far from kind. It’s the whisper that says, “You’re not good enough,” or the echo that asks, “Why do you always mess things up?” These thoughts, though silent to others, can be deafening within our own minds.
But what if that voice could become your greatest ally instead of your harshest critic?
Lately, I’ve been reflecting on the power of positive self-talk—the practice of speaking to yourself with kindness, honesty, and encouragement. This isn’t about toxic positivity or pretending everything is fine. Rather, it’s about acknowledging your struggles while extending to yourself the same compassion you’d offer a close friend.
As psychologist Christopher Germer reminds us:
“Self-compassion is simply giving the same kindness to ourselves that we would give to others.”
I truly believe that our inner dialogue shapes how we see the world, influences our emotions, and even steers the decisions we make. Research shows that positive self-talk can enhance performance, reduce stress, foster resilience, and support mental well-being.
Dr. Shad Helmstetter, author of What to Say When You Talk to Yourself, puts it this way:
“You will become what you think about most. Your success or failure in anything, large or small, will depend on your programming—what you accept from others, and what you say when you talk to yourself.”
I started noticing how often I judged myself or repeated harsh words I’d never dream of saying to a friend—or even a stranger. Shifting that narrative isn’t easy, and it doesn’t happen overnight. There’s no one-size-fits-all approach. What matters is finding what works for you.
For me, journaling has become a powerful tool—a space to reflect, reconnect, and reframe. It helps me track the patterns in my thoughts and begin to respond with more gentleness.
The voice you hear the most is your own. You’re not stuck with the script you inherited or the beliefs others projected onto you. You have the power to rewrite your inner monologue into one that heals, motivates, and sustains you.
As Louise Hay wisely said:
“You’ve been criticizing yourself for years and it hasn’t worked. Try approving of yourself and see what happens.”
Becoming your own cheerleader isn’t self-indulgent—it’s essential. It’s a quiet revolution that begins within, rippling outward into every part of your life.